Sayonara, first trimester.
Am I ever glad that the cat is out of the bag. I have been wanting to complain and vent (only partially kidding) about my first trimester for a while now.
When I was pregnant with Kaia I did not feel any of these horrible symptoms and if I did, I may have thought twice about getting pregnant again so quickly. If I were to explain my pregnancy with Kaia I would say for the first trimester I mostly felt hungover – tired and kind of nauseous but nothing to complain about. I suppose it also made a difference that when I didn’t feel so hot I could crawl into bed for a million hours and not worry about a sassy little toddler interrupting me and keeping me busy for the rest of the day.
This time, this little babe (WHO BETTER BE CUTE OR ELSE) has kept me on my toes, mostly running to the washroom, for the entire thirteen weeks. I was a bit surprised, I suppose I had convinced myself that since my body had already gone through a pregnancy it would magically be able to handle another one no problem. HA. That’s the funny thing about pregnancies, much like tiny humans they are all different.
So here I am lying in this fort on the floor that I told Kaia I made for her but I 100% made for myself. She so kindly went down for a second nap (I’M ACTUALLY IN SHOCK, SHE HASN’T HAD A SECOND NAP IN MONTHS) and I thought I would share with all of my internet friends the story of yesterdays living nightmare.
It all began on a rainy, gloomy, overcast kind of day, not the most ideal start – am I right? When Matt isn’t driving his bike into work Kaia and I will drive him so that we can have some bonding time. I never thought in a million years a car ride into the city would be considered bonding time with my significant other but it is. When Matt gets home from work this household is mayhem. Dinner is being put on the table, Kaia is busy throwing half of it on the floor, my OCD of having to have the house perfectly clean before I go to bed is ruining at least twenty minutes of my life. Then daddy brings Kaia up for her bath, we struggle together trying to get her dressed and ready for bed, time to brush our teeth and then we’re all on our way to being horizontal.
All to say, yesterday we drove Matt into work.
After Kaia and I made it back home, we enjoyed some play time together – in other words ..
- when she takes her entire wardrobe out of her dresser
- when she climbs up and down the stairs and forces me to be a part of it over and over again
- when she crawls her little tush into Matt’s office and takes every.single.thing. out of every drawer
- when she attempts to hop into the bathtub which she so gracefully can not accomplish
- when she stands up and dances and then falls over because doing two things at once is just way too much work
- you get the point
I’m just going to get straight to the climax here. Kaia went down for a nap, I went to go change the laundry, and yep, I sh*t my pants. YUP. I SH*T MY PANTS. You most certainly did read that correctly. You know, I’ve always heard these stories of people doing it, by doing it, I mean pooping their pants, and I didn’t understand how it was humanly possible. So many questions I had in my mind. Why couldn’t you make it to the bathroom fast enough? How does one just poop their pants? Can’t you stop it from happening? The answer to all of these questions is NO. Just no. You can’t prepare yourself for what your body has already decided. Whatever, I pooped my pants, no big deal. Let’s just take a moment to thank the God’s above that I was in my own home and handled the situation as professionally as possible. IF ONLY YOU SAW HOW UNPROFESSIONAL I WAS ABOUT IT ALL.
Anywho, no need to dwell on that. I decided it was still important to head out and enjoy the day. If I had stayed in our house I would simply have been reminded of the horrendous memories that were created here today and it will haunt me even more.
Off I go, to hang out with my new wonderful Mama friend. I had not been to her house yet. You see where this is going. We’re upstairs chit chatting away while Kaia and her new boyfriend bicker and pull each others hair and yep, there it is. I’m going to puke. Off I go, to my new friends bathroom to serenade it with throw up. WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME TODAY? Okay, of course Matt messages me and tells me he’s ready to go and done work for the day. I barely had time to redeem myself from this moment, good thing she likes me, I only know this because we spent some quality time at the park the next day.
So I’m outside Starbucks waiting for Matt and Jesse (my brother) to come out. Here it comes again. Off I go, frolicking the busy streets of downtown Halifax into the Starbucks and straight to the bathroom. Only THIS TIME, my bladder isn’t my friend. I’m sure all of my Mamas reading this know what I mean when I say my bladder and I will in fact, NEVER be friends again since having a baby. I sneeze, pee comes out, I cough, a dribble. SO, you can only imagine what happened when I threw up this time. Oh yeah, I peed on the floor at Starbucks. And I’m not talking a cough like dribble, I’m talking an extended pee, one that should usually happen in a TOILET. Best of all, I now have a huge pee stain on my pants. Isn’t this a glorious tale?
I make it back to the car while holding my shirt down past my bum although I am about 110% sure that at least 6 people knew I peed my pants. By the time I made it home I was about over the day. I told myself that tomorrow would be a better one, IT HAD TO BE, nothing could be worse really. I ate an entire carton of ice cream with caramel on it, shared some with Kaia because she felt my pain and went upstairs to catch some much, much needed Z’s.
First trimester, you’re outta here bucko. I won’t miss you even a little bit.
Sidenote: When I told my girlfriends I was going to write on my blog about pooping my pants, I followed it up with “GOOD THING MATT LOVES ME!” I wrote this post in hopes that other Mamas don’t feel so alone when they are going through the struggle, because the struggle is real my friends, it is so very real.
xx,
Sheridan
